1 minute ago
Fresh hair. My mum hates it and called it severe and a ‘bad boys’ haircut - it’s not a good look’ lol I like it. I had my hair like this for pm the whole time I was at Ashburn she just hasn’t seen it before and it’s in its natural colour. I feel good that I can hear her opinion and not feel like it’s a personal attack, take it, and say “oh well, I like it” Is that what self esteem is??
I do wonder if I will ever have it with my body. I stepped on the scales this morning as per my plan. The number isn’t screwing with my head too much but I can hear that niggling itch in me to make it go down by next week. Why though? Do I really still believe that after 10 years of trying to measure my confidence with a set of scales that it’s going to work?! Not really but yes at the same time. How does one break away from that? I weigh myself mainly for reassurance that I can eat and not gain 10kg in a week. If I don’t weigh myself I get obsessive and scared about what my number is, terrified that it’s climbing through the ceiling, which results in secretive behaviour and ritualistic weighing. It’s a compromise with myself to weigh in alongside mum once a week.
But where does this ongoing discomfort in my body come from and how to I move past it?
#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #edwarrior #edfighter #anarecovery #tomboy #newhair #freshhaircut #selflove #selfesteem #findingmyself #selfdiscovery #bodydysmorphia #bodydysphoria #bodypositivity #bodypositive #help